A nickname I have had: The Paper Monster. I can’t help it, I use a lot of toilet paper every week. I’m a germaphobe so I use a ton of paper towels and napkins too! I’m sure I’ve destroyed a forest or two with my issues.
The worst movie I have ever seen: Was about a car tire that attacked people. I don’t remember what the name of it was. Who would give someone the money to make a movie about a tire?
Try not to stare at: The corners of my feet after a long night on heels. They look like they were in a boxing match. Maybe not that bad but still, don’t be lookin’!
Sexy is: Mostly in a girl’s mind. Make a girl feel confident. Make a girl laugh. Show a girl you are a trustworthy reliable guy that will be there for her and the good sex will follow.
My greatest weakness is: Microwaveable food after 2 am. I can’t stop myself from eating in the middle of the night. It’s why I have to do 2 hours of cardio every day.
I don’t understand why people think I’m: Into girls. Just cuz I like to shower with them, kiss them, and caress them…
Something cool about having boobs is: Getting to shop for awesome bras. Why do guys with man-boobs buy such boring bras?
When I throw a party I make sure to have plenty of: Excuses to tell them to get the fuck out. People don’t know when to leave sometimes. One of my favorite excuses is, “Hey get the fuck out I said!”
The funniest comedian is: Craig Ferguson and Daniel Tosh
I wish people would stop Tweeting about: “The girl that pissed me off today… she knows who she is.” Come on. If you’re talking tough in your tweets then say her name!
The most unpleasant phrase in the English language is: “It is what it is.” PLEASE STOP. That phrase is not saying anything!
A type of ladies’ underwear I don’t enjoy wearing: Used ones. I don’t get friends sharing underwear. Not me!
I will never understand why men: Shout at women as they walk or drive by. Do they really think a girl is gonna say “Oh my God, the way you whistled at me like an animal makes me want to stop the car and do you!”
My most recent wardrobe malfunction was: When I was learning how to surf in Hawaii and after a wave wiped me out, I stood up to talk to the instructor and was completely naked!
My relationship with spectator sports is: Take me to ANY live game. I really get into the energy of live competition. But keeping up with stats gives me zero pleasure.
The most interesting compliment I got was: From an older blonde lady in Texas. She said, “You look cute for a Chinese person.” What? I’m not even Chinese.
Something my father did that still traumatizes me today: I brought home a stray kitten one day for my very own pet. That night, my dad took it to a dumpster. I thought it ran away so I looked and looked, posted reward signs, and made calls everywhere. Someone finally found the cat and brought him back home. That night my dad took him back to the dumpster! I didn’t find out til years later what really happened.
The best thing I learned from an ex-boyfriend was: Not to listen to him so much. Every girl lets at least one guy mess with her head or fill it with his bullshit. Never again!
A grown man should not: Get a tattoo on his lower back.