9. Scottie Upshall
WIFEY: Melanie Collins
When your girlfriend is a hot and successful sideline reporter for NBA TV, you'd better be able to hold your own in your field. That's definitely not the case for Scottie Upshall, who was once a big-time prospect heading into the 2002 NHL Draft. Now Upshall is a mediocre forward (33 point average over the last two seasons) whose biggest contribution to the NHL is giving fans the ability to peep Melanie at his games. We ain't complaining, though. Thanks, Scottie, for the gift that keeps giving...
8. Ime Udoka
WIFEY: Nia Long
So, you figure the eternally hot Nia Long would be a with a baller who's a perennial All-Star and has a few rings, right? Nah, she chose Ime Udoka, the same dude who spent six years bouncing around in the D-League and overseas before making it to the NBA in 2007. Sure, he only averages 5.5 points and 13 minutes per game, but look at the absolute dimepiece he landed. Hard work pays off. Wiz Khalifa's weed carrier Chevy Woods talks about it. Ime Udoka lives it.
7. Matt Treanor
WIFEY: Misty May-Treanor
The life of a back-up catcher is toward the bottom of the professional athlete totem pole. We'd even prefer riding an NBA bench before taking Matt Treanor's job. But all homie has to do is remember his wife is Misty May, a two-time Olympic gold medalist in beach volleyball, and things aren't so bad. We're convinced their marriage of seven years is a sham though. Kerri Walsh is Misty May's real wifey (at least in our wet dreams), Treanor is just her jumpoff.
6. Shelden Williams
WIFEY: Candice Parker
When you're a permanent fixture on the bench who also happens to have one of the ugliest domes in the NBA, you would think that two negatives wouldn't attract a positive. But somehow Shelden has defied the odds and hooked himself up with one of the WNBA's hottest and highest paid players, Candice Parker. FOH, basic logic. Algebra, FTW!
5. Scott Podsednik
WIFEY: Lisa Dergan
Since making his MLB debut in 2001, Scott Podsednik has been tossed around to more MLB teams than your average groupie (II). While scouring the Interwebs to find out which minor league team he's currently with, we came across some of his wife's finest work. Yup, his wife Lisa Dergan a.k.a. the model and former Playboy playmate. Hours later, after being...uh, sidetracked, all we can do is salute Podsednik for his Ruthian accomplishment in the WAG category.
4. Kris Humphries
WIFEY: Kim Kardashian
In a matter of one year, Kris Humphries went from the Nets' power forward no one knew about to the fiance of Kim "100 Percent Real Grade-A Ass" Kardashian. This year, Humphries went on to have a breakout season and average a double-double in points and rebounds. All we know is that Lamar Odom must be pissed after settling for Khloe while this dude scooped up the baddest Kardashian of them all. #biggirlsneedlovetoo
3. Sasha Vujacic
WIFEY: Maria Sharapova
We're never going understand how Vujacic snagged one of the hottest female athletes today. Dude has a well-documented history of b*tchmade moments but still managed to successfully propose to Sharapova in October of last year. The Russian beauty is a scream queen, rocks the sexiest outfits on the reg, and has a net worth of $28 million? Wifey material!
2. J.J. Barea
WIFEY: Zuleyka Rivera
Before his coming-out party during the Dallas Mavericks' championship run, many people probably didn't know who the hell J.J. Barea was. But now after winning the NBA Finals, Barea stays winning this off-season when he returns to his girlfriend, Miss Universe 2006 Zuleyka Rivera. And if having one of the hottest women in the universe wasn't great enough, J.J. also mentioned in an interview that Zuleyka is an avid basketball fan and has NBA League Pass in the crib. Damn, the closest wifey lets us get to watching a full day of sports is reruns of Basketball Wives. FML.\
1. Marko Jaric
WIFEY: Adriana Lima
Meet the luckiest and most hated scrub athlete on Earth. When you're as ridiculously hot as Adriana Lima, you could have any guy in the world but somehow she ended up with former NBA player Marko Jaric. Nowadays, the Serbian baller is keeping a bench warm in Italy with Montepaschi Siena, but he could probably care less about his basketball career when he gets to come home to a supermodel every night. Fun fact: Did you know that the name Marko is Slovak for "lucky son of a b*tch"?
